threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
