Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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