Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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