Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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