were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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