Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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