I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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