Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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