idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My feet surprised me
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