Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
