I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize