I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's never too late to be topless.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
