There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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