benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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