i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
