So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
