make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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