I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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