You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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