Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
