I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize