Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
