last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
