dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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