I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
