At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
