So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
