If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
