i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
