Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
