Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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