I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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