I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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