no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
