R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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