If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize