nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
