i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
