in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
