did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
