Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
