Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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