Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
