No stitches, just platelets and will power
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
not ubering you a puppy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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