Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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