i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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