I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There r osticjed everywhere
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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