After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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