then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
even my farts smell like vagina
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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