Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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