Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
