Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
