I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
