I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
