I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize