Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
