ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
