Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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