So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
