he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
