My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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