So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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