Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
