During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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